I’m reading my empathy book and I’ve been sharing it over the past few days. Thanks for reading the posts, your comments are great!
In the last chapter of this book, the author talks about what NOT to say. So, I’m sharing.
You’re not an expert.
Unless you actually ARE an expert, whose expertise is being asked for, hearing news of someone’s crisis is not the time to offer up casual theories about their misfortune.
Doing this leads to two hurtful implications:
1. The event was preventable and/or deserved, because if this person had only done X or Y they would be fine
2. Your fact-finding mission is less about providing comfort than about “weeding out” the source of a problem – to make sure it doesn’t happen to you.